The ABC Cancer Diaries

A young, American-Born-Chinese woman living with metastatic breast cancer

Iron Chef Wynne Wu July 23, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 3:57 am

Looking through some more photos and I found what I think may have been one of Wynne’s happiest days ever (and there were many!):  Iron Chef Brooklyn February Birthday.

Wynne and Akeo had been talking about putting together an Iron Chef competition among our friends for a while.  So Sean, Julie and I turned it into our birthday party (and dragged Sean’s twin brother Chris out from Ohio as well).

Wynne, Akeo and several other friends all participated.  We all met first thing in the morning at the Tea Lounge in Park Slope (across the street from the Park Slope Food Coop) where we went over the rules and announced the secret ingredient (“Apples!”)  (For the record, after it was all over I was rather in awe when Wynne nonchalantly mentioned to me she had anticipated apples as being one of the likely secret ingredients and had prepared appropriately.)

Wynne didn’t win the award for the day (even with her hubby as one of the judges 🙂  But looking back of course I see how much she and all of us won that day.  She got to show her stuff.  We all ate great food.  And we shared a uniquely fun experience with close and wonderful friends.  All the things she cared so much about in life coming together in one special day.

So cute!


(I love this photo)





Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 1:56 am

I hadn’t looked at Wynne’s email account in a while, mostly because when I’d checked it previously it’s primarily spam or email lists or promotional things she’d signed up for.  ParkSlopeParents yahoogroup, various MeetUp groups, Amazon, Gerber, Victoria’s Secret, AirFareChaser updates, etc.

So I just spent the last half hour unsubscribing her from various things.  I feel like I’ve barely put a dent in what’s out there.  But more than that, I feel like I’m erasing part of her existence.  Granted, it’s the spammy part of her existence that’s part of all of our existences these days.  But it’s still a reminder of the lack of her existence.  (Though there is a certain satisfaction in hitting “unsubscribe” over and over, like I’m somehow sticking it to these faceless, soulless mass marketing programs.)

I guess this is one thing most of our grandparents and ancestors never had to do.

Fortunately, the more substantive parts of Wynne’s existence are and will be preserved.  Like this blog, all the students she taught and lives she touched, and all of our memories of her.


Helen gets a new cousin! July 22, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 4:01 am

On July 12 we were so very happy to welcome Helen’s new cousin Ethan into the world (courtesy of my brother Greg and his wife Aimee).  Interestingly, Ethan was born one day after cousin Preston’s 1st birthday!  So she has one cousin 6 months older and another 6 months younger.

Tonight Helen and Ethan met for the first time.


As I’ve become increasingly aware, big and happy life events are also reminders of Wynne’s absence.  A reminder that I can’t turn to her and tell her the good news when it happened.  A reminder of how much she would have loved seeing Helen play with Ethan and give helpful advice and share baby clothes and other things with my brother and his wife.  I wish she could be here for all of it and all that’s to come.  I know how happy it would have made her.  At the same time, I don’t want every happy event to be tinged with sadness.  But I think that’s how it’s just going to be for a while until it hopefully evolves over time.


Traveling with Wynne July 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 3:14 am

I’m getting ready to take Helen on our first big trip together:  out to San Diego and L.A. to see some cousins.  And I happened to look at some pictures from December 2008 when Wynne and I traveled to China with my parents.  Traveling with Wynne was always so special, it feels very funny to do it now without her.  But I’m glad to have Helen with me.

Here are some photos from our China trip (with Wynne of course in her trademark purple jacket):










More connections to Wynne July 12, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 5:02 am

Today Helen and I went to Congee Village on the Lower East Side to celebrate cousin Preston’s first birthday and also a belated Father’s Day with Wynne’s father.



I also learned my Chinese name, which I think in pinyin is written as “HE-AR-ZI.”  My Chinese teacher offered to come up with a name for me at my lesson last week.  But I had a vague recollection of Wynne and her father coming up with a name for me.  And sure enough, when I asked her father he said that they already had this name.  It felt good to know that Wynne had collaborated with her father on it and to know that my Chinese name was already known to Wynne.


And of course, Helen had a great time!


Things that make me feel more connected to Wynne July 8, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 10:56 pm

Here are some things that I’ve noticed tend to make me feel more connected to Wynne:

1.  Cooking for others

2.  Studying Chinese

3.  Going to a farmers’ market

4.  Doing anything related to BHSEC

5.  Watching “The Bachelorette” (Mondays on ABC at 8pm)

6.  Reading Country Driving by Peter Hessler, the book Wynne gave me for my birthday this year (or anything by Peter Hessler for that matter)

7.  Hearing stories and memories about her from people who knew her

8.  Drying my face on her bath towel still hanging in the bathroom

9.  Talking to the big poster of her (made by cousin Christine for the memorial service) now hanging above Helen’s changing table

10.  Kissing Helen

11.  Writing posts on Wynne’s blog




Gratuitious Helen photo of the day below:


Some random photos of Wynne July 7, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — stevenwaseda @ 4:58 am

I was just looking at some photos of Wynne before going to bed and felt like sharing a few:

Our wedding invitations, ready to go out the door (Nov 2006)


The second anniversary of our first date at Los Pollitos (Dec 25, 2006)


In Mexico at Alex & Tim's wedding (August 2005)


Wynne at Bethany Beach, DE on July 4, 2007 (where Helen and I just spent this year's July 4 with our cousins)


Enjoying good Bukharian Jewish food at a restaurant in Queens with cousin Jessie