The ABC Cancer Diaries

A young, American-Born-Chinese woman living with metastatic breast cancer

Wig-Dar April 21, 2009

Filed under: Hair,Uncategorized — wenren @ 10:46 pm

Sometimes—

you can tell when someone is wearing a wig.

kitty-lime

But seriously folks. After becoming a wig-wearer (quick say that ten times fast), I have developed “wig-dar” or the innate ability to tell immediately if someone is wearing a wig. Let’s just say I know all of the tricks of the trade, and I have gradually moved from the hyper paranoia of feeling like everyone knows I’m wearing a wig to the general acceptance of the fact that most people are pretty self absorbed to notice or care. But when I’m riding the subway, or watching tv, I’ve begun to play “spot the wig!”

So who’s wearing a wig? Well, in terms of people on tv, I usually watch too much Food Network, and there is a chef called Sonny Anderson who I believe is sporting a wig. I’m also an avid watcher of the tv series “Heroes” and recently the actress who plays Claire (the cheerleader) has been sporting a wig. My guess is that she cut her hair, but the producers wanted her to maintain her character’s hairstyle for consistency. How do you tell if someone is wearing a wig? Well, I won’t give any secrets away. It’s just like being a magician — reserved only for those part of the club, so if you end up needing a wig at some point you’ll just know.

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Scan Results and Having Enough April 1, 2009

Filed under: Death,Treatment — wenren @ 10:10 pm

I did eventually get my scan results. The short story is that it didn’t change much from last time, but we hope the navelbine starts to shrink things. So, it was probably good that I decided to leave the experimental, horror inducing rash treatment since it seems quite likely that I got all the benefits out of it anyway.

Onto having enough…

I have a port now, but still recovering. One day at a time. I think it will get better though I’m still in the “I can feel something in me, and it is tugging at my skin” kinda of phase. Oh you know that phase too, don’t ya?

Anyway, all this stuff recently has gotten me thinking about having a cancer theme song. What would yours be? What should mine be? I have no idea. I just know that I am particularly fond of a certain Bach cantata, though it’s not for the faint of heart. It is the Bach Cantata No. 82 or Ich habe genug which translates to (according to the liner notes) as “I have enough” and is basically about coming to terms with death and dying. I guess one could say “I have enough.”

And is it poetic irony that the singer, Lorraine Hunt-Lieberman, died of complications of breast cancer? I bet she really understood the words when she sang it. This Cantata was also staged under the direction of avant garde director Peter Sellars, and she sung this aria wearing a hospital gown under a scant light bulb. When she gets to the aria Schlummert ein, ihr matten Augen (“Slumber now, you weary eyes”) she pulls out her IV tubes on stage. It does sounds both poignant and saddening. But if you get to hear the aria, it is also very comforting. I guess art mirrors life, or is it the other way around? In any case, I’m glad to have this piece in my collection. One final note (pun intended), Lorraine Hunt Lieberson was an anti-diva, and before her singing career, played viola professionally.

(I tried uploading the song to this post, but was not allowed! You will have to just come over and I’ll play it for you.)

This is the album cover of the Cantata recordings.

This is the album cover of the Cantata recordings.